Thursday, August 14, 2008

Attention Please: I Just Want To Announce That I AM LOVED!

Last year, my hubby and I went on our annual Renaissance Festival trip. And no, before you ask, we DID NOT DRESS UP. (That seems to be the very first question I get whenever I tell someone where we went.) It isn't that I have anything against dressing up, I really do enjoy seeing SOME of the costumes at the fair, but it is just not for me. I am realistic about the whole thing: I am now a mommy in my thirties and that belly dancing costume should be outlawed when it comes to people with my body type. Believe me, I actually saw a number of women shaped like myself who tried to pull it off, and trust me when I say - it ain't pretty people!! If your body is jiggling as much as the jewelry you wear, there is a problem.

We enjoyed many of the small shows throughout the day, a few new ones and a few repeat performances from years past. James, as always, made it his mission to taste test every fruit cobbler he came across. Although he had one that didn't pass his high standards, he seemed to be satisfied with the overall quality of the desserts that year. I tried to behave myself, since a few of the costumes became a silent motivation for me to stick to my diet, but did take time to indulge in a few of my favorite annual treats (sausage on a stick and roasted pecans). I made sure to drink a great amount of water since the weather was warmer than we had planned for. There were also more people than we had expected as well, so many that I found myself in the middle of a full blown panic attack as we tried to swim our way across the sea of bodies on our final trek through the festival. (I just don't do well with that many people being around me – I think I may have been scarred for life after having 29 students in my classroom. Any time I feel outnumbered, I am immediately uncomfortable… BUT, I endured.)

Anyway, during one of my many treks to the ladies room, I began to notice a trend in every single stall I visited. Inevitably there were about a dozen different markings about how some obscure guy was madly in love with some girl. And it was always a "Joe loves Lucy" type comment – a guy loving a girl. These graffiti writings weren't limited to any particular restroom location, but were evenly and greatly distributed around the park. Now I'm only guessing, but due to the location of these writings and the fact that the handwriting was generally pretty curly and nice, I am led to believe that guys weren't the ones sneaking into the ladies room to declare their love for their girlfriends. So, my only conclusion is that for some odd reason, women feel compelled to announce that they have someone who really loves them and others (in the middle of relieving themselves) must know of said love. Okay.

Women do seem to have an instinctive need to be loved, but isn't everyone loved by someone? I mean, come on! Even that ugly monster thing in the end of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi had a jailer that loved him! (Sorry if you don't remember that particular movie scene, but if in order to understand me you MUST be either a NERD or GEEK. All others, you might as well give up now.) Even if I didn't have a man in my life, I still have my mommy! She loves me! I even got a post card from my dentist for my birthday signed "Love always, all of us at Wainwright Dentistry". You don't see me running out to a random bathroom stall to declare that my dentist loves me – yet. I guess we are all obsessed with love in some way… People who really feel loved, often worry about keeping that love. People who don't feel loved, become obsessed with finding it. It is a vicious cycle! Every song on the radio is about love in some way or fashion: Love for people, love for family, love for God, love for things, love for self, etc. Is there a song that doesn't deal with love?? If so, I don't know that I have ever heard of it!

So, these bathroom declarations made me wonder – what do the men declare on their stalls? Well, you know I had to ask, so I questioned James about what he saw on the stalls and you know what? Men don't declare their love for people, they just like to declare where they've been. James said the stalls were littered with "So-n-So was here, November –of-some-year" and such. They are in effect marking their territory! Now, this could start me into a whole rant regarding how men are super obsessed with themselves and only find enjoyment in marking their conquests, but generalizing men would mean including my hubby and it just doesn't apply to him. Yep, if he weren't so against vandalism, I am choosing to believe that he would be one of the few men sneaking into the ladies bathroom to declare how much he loves me! LOL! Guess I should go ahead and do that for him when I go to the fair next year!

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