Sorry for taking so long with this post... since my darling little girl has started back at school, it seems my entire world has been immersed in PTA, room mom duties, and homework. Did you know they give homework in Kindergarten??!!! Wow! What a change from our typical easy going (pre-school) evenings!
On my way home from picking my little one up from school today, I found myself thinking a lot about forgiveness. In my life, there have been many people who have tread, or rather stomped, across the most tender of places on my heart. Some of these people were the very same people who were the most influential in helping me to develop into the woman I am today! And yet, due to insecurities and a bit of selfishness, they pretty much cast my mental well being aside in order to press themselves forward on their path in life. Now, after many years of self reflection and a LOT of prayer, I have learned the value and peace that only forgiveness can bring. My relationships with those few individuals has out grown my wildest expectations, simply because God commanded that I forgive - and I was obedient in the calling.
Although God commands that we forgive, there is one person in this life who I continually struggle to forgive. This person drives me to the brink of insanity and back again. This person makes rash decisions based on pride, boredom, selfishness, laziness, and a vast number of other very unsavory, and unscrupulous motives. Who is this person and why on earth do I continually put up with this?? Quite simply, the person who is the hardest for me to forgive, is me. I think it is harder to forgive myself for stupid decisions and wrong actions than any other person who has ever crossed my path in life. I can keep myself up at night with my constant belittling and self flogging - it can be the most exhausting of exercises!
And yet, God commands us to forgive - even ourselves. The command to forgive is not exclusive. Even Jesus chose to forgive those who hit and humiliated Him, how can anything you have done be justified by denying forgiveness to yourself? What are you struggling to forgive yourself for today? Is there some past sin that has wrecked havoc on your walk, or some daily bad choice that you are making that you feel the need to continually reprimand yourself for? STOP! God loves you and forgives you, now it is your turn to do the same!
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